Pigeon Wings Against a Red Stop Light Beneath the Freeway Overpass on 53rd

Pigeon is spelled weird. You say it like "pi-gen" or if you're fancy, "pi-jon"; it's all really confusing. Then again, Americanized English is confusing, as are most Americanized things. Of course you have your "real"s and "reel"s, your "your"s and "you're"s, and the ever mistypened (no, that is not a word) "there"s, "their"s, and "they're"s. Then you have slang. Oh, bitter-sweet slang. And idioms, which I love, but usually don't get. Then there's figure of speeches, oxymorons (see above), and accents which are hard to write, read, and just plain understand. Wait, oxymorons are figures of speech. Meh.

"You Can Tune A Piano, But You Can't...

I love puns. Or wordplay in general. I've always liked laughing at intellectual jokes almost nobody else gets. There are a lot of those kinds of jokes, those and inside jokes; there are even more of those. Then there is that endless bounty of jokes nobody gets but you because it was your twisted mind that came up with a joke only you, or possibly someone with the same warped mind understands. It's even more depressing if you took a while to come up with it and nobody really gets it. Then you explain it to them and it's funny, but they don't laugh or just give you an airy pity laugh. You know that kind of laugh when someone sort of breathes a short sigh through their nose. Seriously. Almost everyone does some form of that type of laugh. What's even better is when people type "lol" in an "im," but really never laugh, and if they ever do they type "rofl" which is weird. Or they laugh and don't type it; their probably laughing at the person they're talking, err, texting, to. That's why I don't like texting. You can't even hear the person's voice you're talking to! You can barely emphasise anything, and what you think is a snappy sarcastic comment could be taken as a very rude insult. Even phones take away from a conversation. Meh. Society. What hast thou become? So back to the title up there. It is from an old vinyl record I saw in my closet of endless-random-trinket-ness. So ...Tuna Fish."

Sorry, It's Not a Screamo Song

`````````````````````````````````````
Ode to the Shiny Shoes

Guardians of the late-night runners
Leaders of fashionable wares
Distraction of short attentions
And muse of the easily amused

If I Lived in a Small Village, I Would Definitely Carry Produce in My Pocket

That is what a girl from my ward said while watching "The 10th Kingdom." It's an interesting show about golden dogs and shoes...and fish. And of course, sheep. That's where the "if I lived in a small village, I would definitely carry produce in my pocket" came from. A werewolf was on trial for killing a shepherdess and (although he didn't kill anything but some chickens) was found guilty by a jury of sheep. So the villagers threw veggies at him. Yeah, weird show. Okay for its time though, and entertaining, all 14 (ish) hours of it. But it is kind of odd how in every 17th century film, or dark ages at that, if there is ever an angry crowd, they always have torches, pitchforks, and produce, usually rotten. Then it shows those poor beggars starving on the dirty streets. Couldn't they have given them the produce before it got all rotten? Seriously. And sometimes it is fruits and veggies not even around that place at that time! That reminds me of the banter of the sparrow. You know, from "Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail." The two peasants debate over whether or not a coconut could migrate, or if birds, particularly sparrows, could carry one across seas. Then it goes on about African or European and ends up killing a dude later in the movie. Good ol' British humor. You know, that reminds me of something else. "Stardust." Freakin'. Awesome. Movie. If you haven't seen it, stop reading this and go see it. Now. Stop. Really. I will give you a dollar to go see it. Stop reading. No? Fine.... Ha! Crap....



~ <- squiggle =]

The Darker Side of Butterflies

There is one. They just flutter about and land lightly on lilies, mocking you. They think they're just so perfect and beautiful, but they're not.... I just realized that on the post options bar, there is no underline. That's weird. Maybe they're trying to get people to actually italicize. Wow. Who are they though. "They" is sort a vague word. It really could mean any group of people or - in its more commonly thought-to-be-the-correct-use meaning - anyone...whoa. That was a bit off subject. Hmm. Well, I've gotten this far off, I guess I'll banter on about nothing more. Like lettuce. Or bears. Black bears. I like black bears. They're cool. I saw one just last week in the zoo, three in fact. Ooo, you know what's a creepy musical? "Little Shop of Horrors." I saw it with my sister awhile ago (crap, my sister is some how related to this and my last blog, that needs to end). I was scared. There's a giant plant. It eats people. Alive. Well, the first one wasn't alive, but he was still chopped up and that's gross. Really gross. Eww. Oh yeah, bears. Black bears. Actually I'll go on about lions. And buffalo. And crocodiles. They're all cool too. Why all of them? 'Cause I was watching "Weird, True, and Freaky" (the title really didn't fit this episode) and there was this herd of water buffalo, just chillin', and these three buffalo - a mom, dad, and baby - wandered off. They ran into a pride of lions that chased 'em down and caught the baby buffalo. Now, they were by a watering hole and, when the lioness caught the buffalo, both of them were flung into the water. The the pride of 5 or 6 lions was trying to drown the poor thing, and suddenly a crocodile comes up and grabs the baby buffalo. The two grassland predators fought in a bloody tug o' war and the lions won after a few suffering minutes. Then as the lions pulled the poor thing out, the herd of buffalo came back. They surrounded the lions and a couple went after the felines, one buffalo even threw a lion into the air (don't worry it landed on its feet...kind of). Finally, the lions gave up and left. The battered little buffalo was very shaken, but got right up and walked back to the herd. According to the show, the ranger who saw this, went back the next day and found no dead buffalo baby, so it must have survived; the little dickens. Anywho, you're probably expecting some corny moral to this story, but all I can say is "lucky little dude with a will to survive and fortune on its side." Or something like that.

What Is On the Bottom of Your Shoe?

What's on the bottom of your shoe? It's like one those I'll show you mine if you show me yours thing; something only you and those who you truly trust can know. Like gum. That's usually found under shoes, I guess. Sticky stuff, gum. Not many try to get it stuck but it finds its way onto your sole. You just have to scrape it off, but nobody wants to take that five minutes to do so. Then there's those little brass thumb-tacks. You know, there was that big fad of putting them on your tennis shoes so you would click everywhere you went. They're there for a reason though, and are always heard - whether you want to be serenaded by that endless clicking or not - but you don't know where the sound is coming from. Let's not forget mud and miscellaneous objects that find the bottom of your shoe fitting as a snug abode. The scars of wandering. In case your not as random as I am, or like turning stupid phrases into philosophical theories that either make you think "wow" or "stop reading this, it's stupid (or doesn't make any sense)" as I do; I'll walk ya through my train of thought. My sister had a piece of tape stuck to her shoe awhile back and so I asked her "what's on the bottom of your shoe?" She responded with, "what's on the bottom of your shoe?" Shut down, I began to think of one of those stupid-phrase-theories and thought of social crap on your shoes. So like the gum is something you have said and/or done you haven't made amends for, or that science project due in two days...oh crap.